Does the loss ever fade?

    There I was, going about my day as usual. I went to Stitch n Bitch this morning, hung around the house for a while, then headed to the mall to get my paychecks. Two, because I refused to leave my house last  Friday, Black Friday.


    I had been to the bank to cash the checks, and to the supermarket to buy tonight's meat for dinner. I was almost home. Now, I know that in three days, it's the two year anniversary of Mother-in-law's death. I have been aware of it for a while. But when I turned off Rte. 9, onto the side street that comes out near my house, there is a funeral procession lining up on the side of the road. The fact that it was the same local funeral home that took care of Betty might have made it even more poignant.


    I see the cars, and, as I drive by, the tears start. By the time I get to the other end of the short road, they are running down my face. Just seeing that makes the water works start, brings back all the memories. This surprises me. You think you are over it, then something brings all those feelings roaring back, seemingly as fresh as that day. I'm even in tears as I type this!


   I mean, really, there wasn't even a funeral, she was cremated. We did have a nice memorial service the next May, and buried her ashes with those of her husband.  But still, death is death, and loss is loss. I feel it keenly even now, two years after the fact. Hence my question, does it ever fade?

Random thoughts...

        I am full of random thoughts tonight, I thought I'd share some with you!
1.  There was once a movie called Sharkboy and Lavagirl. I remember it specifically because the kids that starred in it, the boy and the girl, were both named Taylor. And now this boy is mostly grown up, and he stars in "Twilight" as Jacob the werewolf. His name is Taylor Lautner. It rang a bell in my brain when I was watching something show business related, and Mark Wahlberg said that Taylor is the biggest new hunk in Hollywood... Why does no one remember this earlier role? I'd like to watch it again, and see how he's changed.
2. I ran out of purple yarn today before finishing my shawl. I was greatly bummed. I had no desire to go and spend $10 for another skein, just to use a small portion of it. But I went to Michaels this afternoon, encurring my husbands wrath. I also went to Stop n Shop, so I was killing two birds with one stone. When I returned home,  Hubs informed me that I better put the top back up on my Jeep at the next opportunity, from which I gathered that he would not be letting me use his truck on rainy days anymore. Some times men can be such assholes. But he's in a much better mood now, since he retrieved the memory card from one of his field cameras, and there were pictures of some really awesome deer on it!
3.  I also used Hubs' truck this morning to go to spinning group at the library in Clinton. I had a really good time! There were lots of people there this month, so there was lots of lively conversation. It was so good to see Terry and Denise! I brought Denise her order from Pampered Chef, And she was so excited to get it!
4.  I am so very sick and tired of all this rain. It feels like any minute now, Noah is gonna pull up in back of our house in the ark, and tell us it's time to go! I am beginning to feel like Swamp Thing, covered in green stuff that's growing on me. I will be so glad to see the sun when it finally comes back!
5.  My daughter and son-in-law celebrated their 1st anniversary yesterday. They went to Cape Cod, and I guess it's raining there too. Poor babies, they will have to stay in! I wonder what they will find to keep themselves occupied? Could a grandbaby come out of this trip??? Hmmm? 
6. I want to knit some more!!!