Family. It can be very complicated.

   Something happened in my family. I'm fuming, and I've been trying for days to figure out how to say what needs saying without offending anyone in my family.


    I don't think it can be done. I tried already, and it got nasty. Let me just say to everyone that there are two sides to every story, and when you hear negative stories about people in your family, please don't judge. Investigate on your own. Ask questions of the people involved. I'm sure they will be happy to talk to you. Just don't wait too long. Older people aren't going to be around forever, much as we can't imagine them not always being there.


     Piece of advice #2. What happened in the past is over. Holding a grudge is like poison in your system. No good can come of holding on to negativity.


    Piece of advice #3. Your parents are human. They make mistakes. Your grandparents too. Everyone makes mistakes. We are not always proud of what we have done, but it's in the past. Let's be nice to each other, before it's too late. See #2.


    I think I have made my point. Don't go verbally attacking your elderly relatives. ASK them questions, nicely. There is no need to be abusive.

new frustrations

     I didn't post at all yesterday. There just wasn't anything on my mind. Actually, there was quite a bit on my mind, but it's become quite clear that most of it comprises Things To Not Talk About.


     You know that my Hubs thinks I share too much as it is. I have always felt that if someone wants to know something about you, and they have the guts to actually ask you, they deserve an honest answer. But this whole blog thing is different. It's instigated by me, and I'm telling you things you might or might not want to know, or even might not care about. That's why I try to diversify my topics.

   
    Sometimes I talk about crafting projects, and sometimes I talk about my life. I like to tell you stories about my nutty family.  Like, for instance, I recently found out that my Uncle John, who is my father's older brother and is well over 80 years old, is taking a yoga class. I posted a photo of all my dad's siblings last summer, here it is again. Uncle John is the one wearing suspenders.

    My brother once owned a possessed motorcycle. It was a Bultaco, and it did some very bizarre things, even when it was not being ridden. He took it to the local radio station when they had a psychic on, and she agreed that there was a spiritual being inhabiting this motorcycle.  My brother is very good looking, here he is with his wife, at my daughter's wedding.

    I could go on and on. But the most interesting stuff, you will never hear about. It's just too personal to share, and that is frustrating for me. It goes against my "open door" policy. But, if anyone has any questions, any at all, shoot me a comment with your email address in it, and I will answer, if I can.


    There are things going on that even my closest friends don't know. And that makes me crazy. I'm having to learn to keep my mouth shut, even more than ever before. It's making me stop and think before I speak. Which is harder than it sounds for someone who loves to be spontaneous.


    P.S. I hope my good knitting bud doesn't read this until tonight, but I can't keep quiet any longer. My shoes came today!! They are so pretty! I'm gonna wear them to karate later to surprise her. So Kim, if you're reading this, pretend you didn't when you see me later. Act surprised.

a slightly complicated situation

    I told you Santa brought me a Kindle Fire for Christmas. I've wanted one for a while now. My mom has a regular Kindle, and since she has no computer, we used my email address to link it to.


    Last year, a friend of mom's gave me a Kindle for Christmas. Since I have my nook, and I love it, I let Hubs use it. I try to encourage reading in any way I can. So that one is linked to his email account.


    My mom, as I said, has no Internet access where she is, so when she needs new books for her Kindle, my daughter does it for her, since she's there once a week for dinner. She takes the Kindle home, uses mom's credit card on her own computer, and the books get loaded via her wifi.


    For months now, I've been asking Sara to take my email out of mom's kindle, and put hers in. This was so that when I hopefully, got my Fire, my email account would be clear. Well, that didn't happen. I ended up taking Hubs' suggestion of creating a new email account, just for registering the Fire. It worked just fine! The only other problem I had was connecting to our wifi router. I chose the wrong one, and couldn't connect.


    Eventually, I thought to check my laptop, and saw that I had chosen the wrong one for the Fire. So I went back in and fixed that. Now I have access to the Internet. I have already downloaded two games, Angry Birds, of course, and Mah Jong. I love both of those games, I play Mah Jong a lot on my laptop. I used to play Angry Birds on Google+.


    This morning, I went to Radio Shack, to get a cover and screen protector for my Fire. Those things actually used up much of my gift card. Bummer, I was hoping to buy some sweater yarn with that. But now Fire has a cover, and I'm happy with that.

Festivus is almost here!!

    I'm getting excited now, as Festivus is nearly here. I love a good, flexible holiday. Our Stitch n Bitch celebrated on Friday, but only three of us were well enough to make it. Tomorrow morning, I'll be exchanging gifts with my best 10 year old friend, and her mom too, I think.


    As for Hubs, I can only keep reassuring him that there are only two more events that we are attending, then he can crawl back into his cave. He is not a social animal at all. He would prefer if he never had to leave his cave. But this is the time of year when we must interact with people, especially family. In our case, it's my family. His mom was the last of his immediate family, and she's been gone for two years.


    Someone PLEASE remind me next year, that at our family dinner, Hubs is not to sit near my brother....

What a Day! Photo Added....

    Today was the day that my family all gets together and has dinner, then the kids open their gifts. My beloved late mother-in-law began this tradition, when her son and I were first married.


    When you are newlywed, you begin your own traditions, sharing holidays between the two families. In our case, we did Christmas Eve with Hubs' family, and Christmas Day with my family. At first, Betty cooked for us, but after a few years, we started  going out to the local diner, then back to her house for dessert and presents. It was fun, and our son Jesse got to celebrate and open presents three times! Once with Grammy and Pop, once with us on Christmas morning, then again with Grandma and Grandpa for dinner that day.


    Well my mom is the only grandparent Jesse has left, and she has taken over the Christmas Eve diner dinner. Only, since my kids are all grown up, two with families and in-laws of their own, we moved it to a day close to Christmas. This year, it was tonight. After dinner we went to my brother's house with gifts only for the youngest kids, and for my mom, of course, being the matriarch.


    All this was after I worked today, of course. And Hubs worked too, and had to go back after dinner to finish up. So he didn't get to have dessert. All together, I believe there were sixteen of us. Mom, myself and Hubs, my daughter and her hubs, my son and his wife and their two kids. Then my youngest and his girlfriend. My brother, his wife, their daughter with her boyfriend, and their young son rounded out the roster.


   One of our hosts kindly took a photo of our whole table!

    Whew! Thank goodness that's over with! Now we get to do Christmas Day, with Jesse and Julie at her mom's. There won't be so many people there, so it will be quieter, and pleasant. We went there last year, on Christmas Eve; we met there after the Giants game. They all went to the game, including my Hubs and son.


    I can't wait for Santa to come, I wonder what he'll bring me this year? I've tried really hard to be a good girl!

this year, Christmas will be different

    Surprisingly, this never occurred to me when our youngest child moved out this past June.  I was a bit worried about the empty nest thing, sure. But Christmas never crossed my mind at that time.


    When Jesse was a teenager, I purchased an elf hat, which he was to wear every Christmas morning when he handed out the gifts. He was our official Santa's helper. He wore it willingly, and played along. It just hit me yesterday, as Hubs and I were shopping, that he won't be here this year.


    There are so many stories from holidays past. One of my favorites? You know how kids always try to get their parents up really early on Christmas morning? Well, one year when Jess was a teenager, we decided to get him back, and we woke him up at 5:30 am. We ran in his room, turned on his lights, and stood there shaking him, yelling, "It's Christmas, it's Christmas! Get up, get up!" Of course he got up, and we had a good laugh. He was very understanding of our insanity.


    But he did say that we had better not wake him up at 5:30 again, ever. So when Christmas rolled around again, we woke him at 5 instead. He was not amused, but we were!


    Then there was the whole moose thing. When he was little, Jess loved moose. I know that he'll say it was all us, but he did love them. One year, Hubs sent all the way to Alaska, I think, for a lucite paperweight that had real, genuine, moose poop in it. You should have seen his face when he opened that gift! It was hysterical, and to this day, I've yet to see him laugh that hard again.


    Aaah, the memories. I'll always have those, won't I? And the elf hat won't go to waste. I thought I'd wear to to work this coming weekend, as it's the weekend before Christmas.


   

Sharing Some Family Photos

    I am recuperating from the e-plague, and not getting any ideas for my post today. I was also looking at the photos in my laptop and it suddenly hit me - why not share some of those photos? I shall start at the beginning. Here's my parent's wedding photo, Jan. 22, 1955.

This is my dad's mom, Rose. She passed away a while ago.

Here is a recent photo of my dad's sisters, Kate and Mary Lou.

 

 

This one is my brother, David, and his wife Carol. I think this was taken at my daughter's wedding, 2010.                                      

 

 

 

Here is a photo, I believe it's the first ever, of my three kids together.

 

 

This is my favorite photo of Sara and her hubs, Mike. I love her hair this way...

Here's my handsome second child, James.

This is a photo from his wedding, June 2007. His lovely wife is Jessica.

Here is one of their two beautiful kids, Chloe and Mason. This is actually a bit old, Mason turned two in October.

 

Here is a more recent one, my Hubs with Mason, taken this past summer.

 

And lastly, but never least, is my youngest child, Jesse. I swear, he spends more time in his karate uniforms than in street clothes.

               I guess I should put a photo of myself in here, too. This is from August of 1973, Walt Disney World, Florida. Do you think I had an attitude?? Don't most 16 year olds?

Today's the Day

   Yup. Today's the two year anniversary of my M-i-L's passing. I spoke to Hubs a few days ago, and asked him if he thought we could go up to the cemetery, for a short visit. He concurred, so off we went, shortly before noon.


    It's quite a ways north of here, up in Columbia County, at a very quiet church. It's really a peaceful place. The weather even cooperated, it was gorgeous out today. I don't think Hubs really enjoys going there, but I think his mom likes it. On the way, I usually think of all these things that I want to say to her, and to her husband also, since he's there too. But when we get there, and when I start to talk, I get choked up. So I end up talking to her in my head. Today, I did manage to say out loud that she got her fondest wish, that our son, her only natural grandchild, is living in their house. Both she and Tom wanted that.  I hope it makes them happy.


    I really meant to take my camera up there with us, I can't believe it forgot it. I wanted to get photos of the cemetery, and the headstone. On the drive up, we stopped and Hubs bought an evergreen wreath, which we placed on the ground in front of the headstone. We decided we didn't want to block it, or Tom's veteran placque.


    On the way home, we stopped at a little local diner in Red Hook, and had lunch. Then we completed our journey. I think it does us good to stop and remember our departed family members every once in a while. For me, it's a very spiritual experience, I feel cleansed afterwards, and renewed.  < Deep breath > Thanks, Betty, for raising your son so very well.....

Does the loss ever fade?

    There I was, going about my day as usual. I went to Stitch n Bitch this morning, hung around the house for a while, then headed to the mall to get my paychecks. Two, because I refused to leave my house last  Friday, Black Friday.


    I had been to the bank to cash the checks, and to the supermarket to buy tonight's meat for dinner. I was almost home. Now, I know that in three days, it's the two year anniversary of Mother-in-law's death. I have been aware of it for a while. But when I turned off Rte. 9, onto the side street that comes out near my house, there is a funeral procession lining up on the side of the road. The fact that it was the same local funeral home that took care of Betty might have made it even more poignant.


    I see the cars, and, as I drive by, the tears start. By the time I get to the other end of the short road, they are running down my face. Just seeing that makes the water works start, brings back all the memories. This surprises me. You think you are over it, then something brings all those feelings roaring back, seemingly as fresh as that day. I'm even in tears as I type this!


   I mean, really, there wasn't even a funeral, she was cremated. We did have a nice memorial service the next May, and buried her ashes with those of her husband.  But still, death is death, and loss is loss. I feel it keenly even now, two years after the fact. Hence my question, does it ever fade?

The Down Side

    I am discovering that there is a definite down side to having my beloved Hubs working a day shift. When he was working nights, he was sleeping all day. That gave me tons of time to myself. I got spoiled watching all the TV shows that I wanted to watch, I could go out and do whatever I wanted, as long as I was home by 3:00.


    That time restraint? I put it on myself, he didn't require it of me. I wanted to be home to start his coffee, and generally be here while he got ready for work. It was, after all, the most contact we had with each other during his work week.


    Even on his days (nights) off, he still slept a good portion of the day. He always had a hard time adjusting back to a daytime life. So I still had lots of time to myself.


    Now that he's on a day shift schedule, I am having a hard time with a few things. For one, he's up at the ass crack of dawn, even on his days off. So when I get up, he's already settled in his chair, with his coffee, and watching shows on TV that I don't like. So that means I'm missing my shows!


    For the first month, he worked a 5 day a week, 8 hour a day schedule. But now, he's on this funky 12 hour, two week, rotating schedule. He worked Sat, Sun and Mon, has off Tues and Wed, works Thurs and Fri, then has off Sat, Sun and Mon. So the days he works one week, he has off the next week. This schedule makes it very hard to schedule things like doctor appointments and such.


    I liked the night shift schedule so much better. He always worked Wed, Thurs, and Fri, and worked every other Sat. No muss, no fuss.


   Anyway,the other way it's messing with me is at dinner time. Now I have to cook a meal every single night! This truly sucks. Before, if I wanted to, I could have popcorn for dinner, or a frozen pot pie, or whatever I wanted, because he wasn't home for dinner! If I wasn't hungry, I didn't have to cook at all.


    On the plus side, we do get to spend a lot more time together. We are enjoying our empty nest. Even if he drives me crazy sometimes.....

Scent and Memory

    Believe it or not, scent is a very strong memory trigger. I read this years ago, and totally believe it. A roommate of mine was going to college and having a hard time. I told her to pick a perfume, cologne, or any pleasant smell and put it on a handkerchief.


    I told her to keep it nearby while studying, so she could smell it. Then when having an exam at school, use that same scent again. It will help you remember what you studied! She didn't believe me, so ended up not doing very well.


    I know it works, for a fact. When I was growing up, my dad would buy chunks of Pecorino Romano cheese and grate it himself. The smell would permeate the whole house. For those not familiar with this cheese, us kids called it Stink Cheese.


     Years later, I was standing at the Deli in our local supermarket, and I had picked up a container of the cheese, already grated. As I was waiting my turn, I opened the container and took a sniff. The memories of my dad flooded back, and the tears started rolling down my cheeks.


     For me, the smell of Ivory soap brings back memories too. When I smell it, I can see my brother and I in these big, rough textured tub/sinks that our Italian grandmother had in a room off her kitchen. She used to give us baths in these tubs, and scrub us with Ivory soap until we very nearly bled. (I used to swear that she used steel wool on us too, but I don't think that's true)


    The memories come back, so very strong. I'm sure you all have your own stories, and memories.

Sara Found Some Old Photos!

    I know I promised you guys a good photo of my dad, well I didn't have one. But it looks like my daughter Sara did! She posted a bunch of photos on facebook last night, so I put some in my computer's photo files.


   Here is an early one, my parent's wedding photo! January 22, 1955!

And another wedding photo, this one is Sara and grandpa at the wedding of my friends, Beth and Tim. September, 1978:

At least that's what I think. If I'm wrong, I'll let you know! This next one is my favorite of Sara, she was so freaking cute!

 

 

The only other photo of her I liked this much, she was running down the hall in a dorm at Potsdam State, with a beer in her hand!

Another No Crafting Day

    I know it's late, for me at least. I thought I'd better write my post for the day. I didn't get to photograph anything today, the weather didn't cooperate. And I spent most of the day today at my mom's apartment, helping her pack her things for the move to a smaller place.


   On the good side, she found another of my class pictures from grade school! This one is from 4th grade. I will add the class photos to the list of things I will photograph at some point in the near future. I'd like to see how well they come out.


    Talking to mom today, she told me that the table from yesterday's post was one of the first pieces of furniture she and dad got when they got married. That makes it even more special. I asked her, and my memory was correct, it was originally blonde wood. Very 1950's.


    I know she needs my help; it's very hard for her to sort, and organize, these days. She gets overwhelmed easily. We have all been chipping in to help, and her friends have been especially helpful.


    I am still not working on anything, craft wise. I forgot to ask Sara about the colors for her friend's pot holders. I haven't even started decorating my felted purse, and I used it today when I went to mom's.


    Oh well, there's always tomorrow for crafting!

Necessary Adjustments

     It's been a long day, and I'm tired, but I thought I'd better get today's post out of the way.  It has been four days since Hubs started working days. He is temporarily working Monday through Friday, 8 to 5, for training. I must say that I am pleasantly surprised that I'm adjusting kind of quickly.


     I get up in the morning, and if I don't have to sit for the Cherub, I can have my coffee and watch my morning programs. At 11:15, I leave to go sit for Miss Malia. I am usually home by 3:40 or so. That is a good time to do last night's supper dishes, I'm finding. I get them done, and then I can go watch TV, and wait for Hubs to get home.


     Right now, I'm having conflicting feelings, because he's home in the evenings. For all these years, he's been gone in the evenings half of the week, and that was my alone time. I got used to being alone during the day, since he was sleeping, and therefore not around that much. But now my alone time is only during the day, and he's here  every  evening. This is the hard part for me. I am used to watching whatever I want on TV, and eating dinner when I want, and even whatever I want to eat.


     Now I'm having to make dinner every night. So far, it's not been too bad, I'll  just have to wait and see how this whole thing plays out. Like right now, he's in the bedroom watching Thursday Night Football. So I can still watch what I want to.


      I have always told him that I sleep better when he's here. Now I will get to sleep well every night!

Settling In

   This being only the second day that Hubs is actually working during the day, we haven't truly settled in to the new routine yet. Especially since both mornings, I had to get up before he did. My early morning charge, the Cherub, needed me yesterday and today this week.

   
    So the rest of this week will be interesting, in the mornings. Hubs' alarm will be going off at 6:05. I get to stay in bed, if I can manage to get back to sleep. Somehow, I doubt I will be able to accompish that. But I will do my best.


    I made us a nice dinner last night, our favorite meat on a stick, and garlic mashed potatoes. Yum. I'm finding it convenient that Hubs is gone during the day, now I can wash dishes and vaccuum all I want to (not that I want to...). It's difficult to do those things while someone is sleeping, and you can't make any noise.


    Progress on the next baby blanket is coming along. I just started on the second skein this morning. The shower for this mom is in less than two weeks now. I'd better get a move on. It shouldn't take that long at all, and I will do my best to get it done and laundered before the shower day.

In Which Everything Changes, Kind of

    I was just sitting here, in Hubs' recliner, when I had a thought. You see, things are about to change in our lives. And this is a pretty major change, at that. Right up until I had my thought, I was OK with this change.


    I am still OK with it, but then I got to thinking. Let me explain: You see, Hubs is taking a new assignment within his company. He is going to be working on the day shift. Still twelve hours, but during the day. And it just occurred to me that this could change the whole dynamic of our relationship.


    When we met, I was working a twelve hour night shift. He was a mechanic, so he worked a normal day time job. After we got married, it took me three years to get him to give up his job, that he was not happy with, and come work where I was, in manufacturing. He took to it quickly, and within a year he was in the maintenance department.


   So, we have never really spent every night together. In fact, when we were on opposite night shifts, we never spent the night together at all. When he was working, on my days off, I would go in with him to bed in the morning, and nap for a few hours.  


    Well, that's not totally true, either. We did work the same night shift for over a year, and for that time we did spend our nights and working days together. 


    Anyway, back to my thought. Does this mean we will suddenly be conventional? After 24 years of being unconventional, I'm not sure how I'm going to like being conventional. Cooking dinner every night? Will I start doing the dishes every evening after dinner? I shudder at the thought. I think I'm too old to start being conventional at this point in my life. But one thing I am sure of,  it will certainly be an adventure!

I Found Some of the Promised Photos!

    I found some photos that I had promised to post when I found them. First up is my 3rd tattoo. At the time, I couldn't find a photo of it, but last night I found a good one!

 

   Remember the post about my dad? I couldn't find a good photo of him. I asked my daughter, following her advice, I checked all her photos on facebook. It turns out that she had a pretty good one there! And here it is for you to see! Although he usually had facial hair. I prefer that look! And the baby in the photo is my daughter Sara, she must have been about a year old.

 

 

And lastly, at least for today, is a photo of my favorite baby blanket to make.

 

 

  This is the one I shall be making for Sara's friend. I did have a thought though. Maybe instead of making it all pointy, I shall make it in the round. No points. I will have to think on that one, probably ask Hubs' opinion. This is also his very favorite blanket.

A Visit With The Aunties and Uncles

     Yesterday my Aunts and Uncles came for a visit, to my daughter Sara's house. These are three of my dad's four siblings. Uncle Joe lives in Florida, too far away to visit. My dad was the second oldest after Uncle John. Dad would have been 80 this year, so I know Uncle John is older than that. After dad was Aunt Kate, then Uncle Joe, and lastly Aunt Lou. Aunt Lou is only ten years older than me.


     Most of them live further upstate, and Aunt Kate and her husband Uncle Chuck were in Catskill for a bowling thing this weekend. So they went to Uncle John and Aunt Marge's house, and, along with Aunt Lou, they all came down for a visit when Aunt Kate was done bowling for the day.


     This is a photo of Uncle John, Aunt Kate and Aunt Lou.

    Here is a photo of all the Aunties and Uncles, and my mom too.

    From left to right - Uncle Chuck, Aunt Kate, Mom, Aunt Lou, Uncle John, and Aunt Marge.


    Aunt Lou is a hoot. My brother Chip stopped by for a while, and he looks so much like our dad that it makes Aunt Lou cry.  Here is a photo of my brother and his wife, Carol.

    So we all had a nice visit, Sara made food, and everyone got the tour of the house. The Aunts and Uncles had never been, it was their first visit. I think I'll even throw in a photo of Sara and Mike's house too!

   And lastly, here's a photo of Aunt Lou and Sara when everyone was leaving.

     My mom loves when she gets to see dad's brother and sisters, it makes her happy and I think she feels close to him. It was a good day. Thanks, Sara!
   

The Tale of the Sock Fairy

    When I was a young girl, I noticed that every year for Christmas, my maternal Grandmother sent socks as gifts to everyone in the family. Well, she also usually made us kids knitted mittens that were waaaay too big, and I always got a bag of Hazelnuts. I loved them, and still do.


    By the time I was a smart-ass teenager, I was referring to her as The Sock Fairy. Which was fine with my family, until the one Christmas Grandma stayed with us. She heard us refer to her as such, and was mortally offended. She got all huffy, and said that if we felt that way, she would never get socks for us again. And she didn't.


    It kind of became the family joke, who the sock fairy would be each year. Mom took over for a while, and after I got married, my mother-in-law became the sock fairy. I must say, she wore the title with pride. Each and every year, along with our other gifts, we always got socks.


    Well, before Christmas came in 2010, my mother-in-law passed away. And that year is when I became the family sock fairy. I have taken to it with enthusiasm. I get socks for everyone, even my son-in-law.


    And yes, this is the Grandmother who taught me to knit, whom I lovingly (not) call the Knitting Nazi.

Happy Blog-iversary to me!

    YAY! Today is the one year anniversary of my 1st blog post. I can't believe it's been a year already! I didn't quite reach my goal of a post for every day, as I missed a few, but on some days I posted twice, so that helps too.


    My newest knitting project is coming along, although slowly, as I am not having as much time to devote to knitting as I would like. But today, I hope to have some serious knitting time.


    Hubs and I are going to a pig roast at his cousin's house later this afternoon. That should be fun! Of course, I will take my knitting along. Can't go anywhere without my knitting.


    Hopefully I will remember to take my camera, so I can get a few photos. The funny thing is that his cousin really isn't his blood cousin, they are cousins by marriage. Hubs' mom and Gary's mom were married to brothers. So they are step sons of brothers. Doesn't that make them double step cousins, or something?


    That's like the relationship of my daughter to my late father-in-law.... He was her step father's step father. So that made him her double step grandfather. This is indeed a weird world we live in.


   Well, no matter how convoluted your family relationships are, go out and enjoy them, and enjoy the day! Happy Blog-iversary to me!!