Friday, November 30, 2012

Does the loss ever fade?

    There I was, going about my day as usual. I went to Stitch n Bitch this morning, hung around the house for a while, then headed to the mall to get my paychecks. Two, because I refused to leave my house last  Friday, Black Friday.

    I had been to the bank to cash the checks, and to the supermarket to buy tonight's meat for dinner. I was almost home. Now, I know that in three days, it's the two year anniversary of Mother-in-law's death. I have been aware of it for a while. But when I turned off Rte. 9, onto the side street that comes out near my house, there is a funeral procession lining up on the side of the road. The fact that it was the same local funeral home that took care of Betty might have made it even more poignant.

    I see the cars, and, as I drive by, the tears start. By the time I get to the other end of the short road, they are running down my face. Just seeing that makes the water works start, brings back all the memories. This surprises me. You think you are over it, then something brings all those feelings roaring back, seemingly as fresh as that day. I'm even in tears as I type this!

   I mean, really, there wasn't even a funeral, she was cremated. We did have a nice memorial service the next May, and buried her ashes with those of her husband.  But still, death is death, and loss is loss. I feel it keenly even now, two years after the fact. Hence my question, does it ever fade?


  1. Probably not. Maybe we just react differently as time passes but does the loss fade? No. I don't think so. I am sorry for your sorrow.

  2. Thank you. Never thought I would miss her so.