Since it is counterproductive to knit and cause myself pain, it looks like I'll have to go back to crocheting. I've decided not to frog the Super Secret Project, but to continue a crochet project I had stopped in order to do the secret one. Don't get me wrong, this one is secret too. Hopefully at some point I'll be able to knit again.
I bought plenty of the yarn. I originally bought it for the crocheted secret project, but instead used it for the knitted one. Now I'll go back and use it as originally intended. If you're thoroughly confused, don't worry about it. All is well.
Now I'm planning a baby shower. I am terrible at these things, but apparently it's my job as the mom-to-be's mom. The good thing is that I've got plenty of help! I'm absolutely no good at the games and things.