Shit Happens, Misery Is Optional!

   These words have meant a lot in my life. My mom started saying them to my dad when he first got sick. He was only being negative, which I can totally understand, but wallowing in the misery doesn't help anybody, and certainly isn't constructive. Mom somehow got him to lighten up and enjoy the time he had left to the fullest. She even painted a plaque and hung it on wall in the living room, there is a cute picture of two animals, and the whole thing is kind of dark, but they are together, and there's a rainbow coming up in the distance.

   Recently on facebook, I had an opportunity to repeat those words to someone who was obviously suffering with something. This person told me that sometimes misery is the only choice. I have to totally disagree! No matter how bad things get, there is always a choice whether to be miserable about it or not. There is so much beauty and goodness in this world, and sometimes you have to really look for it to find it.

   But I think that most of the time, some people look right past it, and don't see it at all. That bird singing outside your window? When the dog puts his head on your lap and looks up at you with love? When the cat comes and lays down on your lap, purring? Your granddaughter smiles at you? These are all small, but beautiful things! I believe that they are the Power of the Universe telling you not to choose misery. That there is joy all around you. You just have to open your eyes, and heart, to it.

   I couldn't sleep last night, thinking about this. I just don't get that someone would tell me that there is no choice but to be miserable! That there are things over which you have no control. I agree with that, but doesn't your religion tell you to accept the things you cannot change, etc.? How about "Give it to God"? Christianity is about love and joy, not misery and pain.

   What about the belief that you are never given more than you can handle? It means that we are truly stronger than we think. Now is the time to reveal that my life has not been all roses, I have been through my share of troubles. But I carry on! I chose not to be miserable. I realize that I can sound like Mary fracking Poppins, but I have learned over the years to not take anything good for granted. My life has gone from not being able to pay my bills, to being happily married. I was in a really bad relationship, and got myself out. He even came to me and asked me to come back, and I said no. I knew I would be happier and healthier without him in my life. I just asked the Universe to someday send my son back to me.

   And eventually things turned around. It took a few years, but I never gave in to misery. I still had my daughter, and she made life livable. Now, I am happy, and am in a very healthy marriage with a terrific, and patient, man. We have a terrific son together. A few years ago, the Universe returned my lost son to my life, in time for his wedding, and to meet his two gorgeous children.  The Universe works in mysterious ways, but it does work!